Ravens saturday Wordzzle.

This week the words to be used were : Parasite, meals on wheels, crows, it's my fault,everything but the kitchen sink,on sale,patriotism,the love of my life,library card,common sence,blackmail,California,stethoscope,postage,crank.










Boyles Law.





"What kind of parasite prays on the elderly" Inspector Dan Boyle asked himself before entering the house. "any witnesses sargent" "we have the son and family doctor sir". The son was sat on the bottom step, the doctor stood by him with a stethoscope around his neck. Boyle eyed the two up and down, the son in tears blubbering "it's my fault,I know it is!",the so called doctor with a golden tan stood strangly close. There was something wrong, Boyle could feel it. The whole house seemed to be packed up into boxes, everything but the kitchen sink Boyle thought. He went into the bedroom where the victim was found, this room had remained un-packed.There were signs of a stuggle but no signs of forced entry! The victim knew his attacker! Boyle had always taught his inspecters to use there eye's and common sence when it came to finding clues. "Sgt Flynn" yes sir, did you know this house is on sale "yes sir!" "good did you notice the photo over there on the wall".
"The one of the victim, Colonel Richardson sir, being awarded the military cross after comming home from Korea, yes sir why?" how about the torn up letter with California postage?" "no sir" sgt, Flynn sheepishly replied.
By the bed were the remains of an unfinished meals on wheels delivery. Boyle bagged the contents "get them to the lab ASAP" he told Flynn. Boyle looked about the room some more and at first sight the average person would think what kind of crank lived here, but Boyle was more observant than that, he saw the obssesive royal memoralbilia and Britishness as more than mis-placed patriotism, but a story of one mans whole life dedicated to the service of his country.
Boyle looked closly at the photo, he lifted it from the wall, "ah! there you are" he said. "Now whats your combination?" Boyle thought for a while. "of coarse!" 2469227 Col, Richardson, he read aloud from the Photo, his army service number. Boyle turned the dial to the numbers and click! Inside was what he was after, the deeds to the house in the colonels name.
It was the Libary card that had allerted him to there being something wrong. The libary book "a murder of crows" was stamped only yesterday! why would you get a libary book oout if you were moving? he thought. Boyle put all the pieces together in his head and thought it through. He had the evidence, all he needed was the proof. If he was right the tanned doctor with the stethascope was the american confidence trickster, who prayed on vunrable gay men over the internet, that he had been allerted to by inter-pol.
"sargent arrest that good doctor" barked Boyle! Then he took the son to one side and explained.
"your friend here wanted you to sell the house and move to California with him right, but in order for you to do that you would need to take your farther, but he hated americans, since being taken prisioner in Korea, and he hated the fact that you were Gay. You tried everything to get him to sell up, but he wouldn't, and you wouldn't go without him, or put him into a home. The good Doctor then lost his patience with you both, and then while you were out he put poision into the meals on wheels, then set about finding the deeds to the house. Your father tried to put up one last fight to protect you, but the poision took hold. He needed the stethoscope for the safe, because he couldn't beat it out of your father.
"but I thought he was the the Love of my life. Boyle had heard and seen it all before, "the biggest fool in the world hasn't been born yet"
Thats Boyles law he thought!
"Sargent take Mr Richardsons statment, and someone get me a coffee!

Raven's Saturday Wordzzle Challenge.

This weeks words!
Albino,trench,marble,assistant,indian,what's that supposed to mean,sound first principles,the key thing,moat,curtain,under the suface,doomed,grand design,temple,aspirin.

A Good Bucket.

The Indian gentleman that met them beyond the curtain in the temple had a most striking look about him. Nearly six feet tall in his brinjal coloured turban, his hair and beard shone a resplendent aspirin white against his burnt umber skin. His deep brown eyes set in calamine pink, stood out like an albino on the beach.
They were led across a marble floor with a grand design at it's centre, a frieze of interlocking keys surrounded an opulent representation of a tiger hunt, the doomed tiger caught mid-lunge by a volley of shot fired from the back of an elephant by a long forgotten Maharajah.
"the key thing, on the floor, whats that supposed to mean"
whispered the Archaeologist's assistant.
"SILENCE!"
The Indian gentleman's voice was as commanding as his appearance.
They were led outside through an ornate door with almost Byzantine like piercings cut into the ancient blue black wood. Across the courtyard was a trench, well more like a moat half full of water,
"under the surface, you will find what you are after"
proclaimed the Indian gentleman, before he about-faced and made his way silently back to the temple.
"In future only speak when spoken to, understand"
"This is one of the first sound principles of archeology"
"Whats the second" replied his young assistant.
"Always bring a good bucket".

Apple Macs, Fish, and Brian the bastard.

This week has been a slightly odd one personally in as much as two people who are near and dear too me have made what can only be described as shocking purchases. Although these purchases are completely at the other ends of the spectrum from each other in regards of cost, never the less they are still shocking! Firstly my mother, who along with my farther are the least technologically minded people I know, she has bought an apple lap top. Don't get me wrong I don't begrudge her spending her money. But my mother has had two computers in the last three years, the first was a lap top, the second a PC, but she didn't like the card games on the Vista enabled PC so she swapped it back for her lap top that she had given to my sister.
(see the Watercats)

The only thing my mother used either of these perfectly good machines for was to play the built in card games, and too receive the occasional Email. Notice I said receive not send! she does not know how to send an email, nor does she have music stored, nor photo's, nor letters, nor banking. She did however discover EBay and got hooked on buying hat pins. So the story goes she went into a well known PC shop to buy my niece a new Nintendo hand held thing, and came out with an apple! and a Nintendo. I can just see it now some spotty nerdy teen going through the pre set sales banter which ends with (ok but if you need any help just ask) just got the biggest shock of his life when my mum said "ok I will take it" "is cash ok?"

Any way is it jealousy on my behalf? a little I suppose' but eleven hundred euros is alot of money for someone on disability pension who will not use this great bit of kit to it's potential.

The second shocking purchase was made by my wife! Whilst out shopping we went into a discount store you know the kind where everything in the shop costs two euro's, two pounds, or two dollars, depending on where you are in the western world. Well she saw a large glass oval shaped vase. "Wow!" she said "look at that" she took it to the check out and paid, then turned too me and asked where the pet shop is! It then dawned on me that she wanted a fish! A fish whats wrong with a fish I hear you say! well we have two ponds in our gardens both have fish in them, these fish are constantly under threat from what can only be described as a black fish loving panther of a tom cat. This cat is called Brian the bastard! and is our sons. This vase that is now sitting in the kitchen with two rather girly! fish called fluffy and Sebastian in it, is tall and not very broad at it's base, so I can see the day when we come in to a flooded kitchen, a broken bowl, and a very happy cat! But never mind my son and I are having bets on how long they last. Whilst my wife and I are having bets on how long my mother lasts with the apple before she gives it too my sister!

(see the watercats).

On the fire brigade front we have had our first RTC' of the silly season(see last post) luckily enough it was just a clear up after the driver had ditched his car into a wall then done a runner! so he is Ok, but will get a visit by the Police at some stage which will result in some shock' no doubt! We have also visited the local primary school to talk to the kids on all aspects of home and personal safety. This they love! and get a chance to become fire deputies in their school and at home. I will post more on this next time as we do the other larger school next week.

Raven,s Saturday Wordzzle Challenge.

I have recently been introduced to this wonderful blog, by the Watercats. It is a great challenge, and great fun to do. So hear for your approval is my first effort at the challenge.

This saturdays post to include the following words; green goddess, shampoo, filibuster, please and thank you, operation marigold, throw pillows, up the creek without a paddle, spandex, ubiquitous, wedding ring, skittles, lamb chops, stingray, chagrin, and clever devil.

Marina.

The Eco-friendly shampoo she used turned her cheap wedding ring green, as she 'washed that man right out of her hair'. This was the first day of the rest of her life. There will be no more please and thank you's, no more Friday night skittles and lamb chops. From now on she was her own woman. Operation marigold began with more throw pillows, he had hated clutter especially in the bedroom, but this was her place now and she liked STUFF! His filibuster tactics had delayed this day for long enough, and the ubiquitous dominance that he once held over her, which left her up the creek without a paddle in their relationship was over. Her once shamefaced rather chagrin reflection had been replaced by a spandex clad green goddess. You clever devil you! she thought, as she casually caught her reflection in the new hallway mirror. She looked like the girl Marina' from her favorite childhood Gerry Anderson cartoon series Stingray. And for the first time in a long while a smile spread across her face as the ring that once bound her, sank to the bottom of 'her' aquarium with a plop!

Now We're eight again.

SPEED!

"it ain't big, and it ain't clever"

So here we are again! in the last week since posting, our crew has become eight in total, after nearly two years with only six members. Also in the last week we have dealt with one large oil spill, one large land-slide, and one small fire, all this and the death of the mother of our sub officer.

When it comes to funerals, being the only non-Catholic in the crew I found the whole open casket thing a strange one. We 'my wife, son, and I' seemed to be very much over dressed for the occasion, in our dark suits, and school uniform complete with blazer in the case of my son. It seems to our more English ways some what dis-respectful to be dressed down for such a solemn occasion. I was later informed that funerals are a celebration of life! perhaps then that's why our newest member to the ranks wore a hoodie, and bright white trainers to the graveyard the next day!!! I think I will stick to my traditional out look on dress codes when it comes to funerals, and leave the 'hoodies' to the 'rookies'.

Oh! I nearly forgot a group of us also visited the local national school to hand over a check for one thousand euros that was a share of a much larger sum that our brigade raised on Christmas Eve, doing a ladder climb in the town. We do this each year and donate the proceeds to a number of local causes. It is always nice to be able to help out especially in the currant financial climate. We will be visiting the school again soon as we do each year to promote fire safety amongst the children, who will get to look around our engine and the firefighting kit we carry, this is always an exciting day for the kids, and a rewarding one for us as well.

As the weather improves unfortunatly so dose the chance of us getting called out to RTC's (road traffic collisions) in the last couple of years we have had our fair share of serious and in some cases fatal RTC's in our area, some have been accidents, some drink related, but the majority have been speed!!! so please kill your speed before it kills you. As a first responder medic I have seen what speed can do to a human body, 'it ain't big, and it ain't clever!' as my dad would say.

It ain't all Kitten's and calenders.

About this time of year in rural Ireland especially in moorland or mountainous areas there seems to be an overwhelming need to set fire to all things brown or heather like! this is done as I'm led to believe to promote new grass growth for this years lambs to feed on. As a fireman who gets paid by the hour and likes nothing more than a leg of roast spring lamb I can see great advantages in this system for the sheep farmers, and to the likes of me of coarse. However we have a conflict of interests when it comes to the big hot orange stuff! We have no automated means of transporting water to the fire, there is no special way of transporting the heavy wet stuff up the sides of mountains! we in rural Ireland have no helicopters or water planes to drop bright orange water bombs upon mile upon mile of gorse or young Pine plantation. The only means of extinguishing these fires some of which are miles in length is on foot, armed with nothing more than a shovel or a simple beater! which is made up of a length of split fire hose tied onto a broom handle.

Now about this time of year in our area there happen to be Hen Harriers, Deer, Fox, ect, ect,all with young! last year one of my crew rescued a fox cub that was left to die after it's mother had ran for cover, it had lost it's fur on his ears and it's front paws were singed. This year ironically according too the local papers we rescued three sheep with young who had in a panic become entrapped in some sheep wire as the wind changed and the fire encircled them, and there was a distinctive smell of Sunday roast in the air as we stumbled across the blackened remains of the one that didn't get away. Don't get me wrong, the actual act of putting these fires out although it's a physically demanding one also provides us with a chance to see some amazing sights, the great sun set, meteor showers, and shooting stars, the wild life of coarse, all of which we would probably not get to see otherwise. We have our laughs as well! usually at the expense of each other, as even the most shore of foot will in the dark at some point fall victim to the unexpected rabbit hole or even Sheer turf cut, full of brackish tea brown water. All of which are quickly followed by a snigger and smart comment like "watch the hole there" or "have a nice trip!"

There seems to be nothing funnier than to see a grown man or woman fall headlong into a hole full of sheep sh$t, well it works for me anyway, especially if your the physical shape of some of my colleges!

I'm afraid to say that for the most part out of all the firefighters I have come into contact with I can quite defiantly say none would be gracing the cover of any Calenders all oiled up and topless, the very thought of it would bring the wives of our small crew into a fit of laughter. We are ordinary people who happen to do an extraordinary job, we are not all Greek Adonis's rescuing kitten's from tree's. The reality is a bunch of lads, and one lady of mixed age all living ordinary lives up until our alerter's go off, then we drop our day jobs and step into the unknown!

Kipling.

Why Kipling!

Well to start with I suppose it's my fathers fault in as much as he through out my life has ranted and raved at me quoting and mis-quoting 'Kipling' to suit what ever argument he had storming through his mind at the time. Even now that I'm in my forties he still manages to have a little pop at it, using my son Oliver as his sounding board.

If I had a pound for every time I have heard 'IF' I certainly wouldn't risk it on one turn of pitch and toss, and while we're at it just how far do you expect to get in sixty seconds anyway! even the best Olympic athletes could only manage about five hundred meters!

George Orwell said this of Kipling;

'For my part I worshipped Kipling at thirteen,

Loathed him at Seventeen, enjoyed him at twenty,

Despised him at twenty five,

and now again I rather admire him.

But the one thing that was never possible,

if one had read him at all was to forget him'



That sort of sums up what I feel about Kipling and strangly what I feel about my father as well, stange that! well I always was a bit of an 'EATHEN'

Thats all for now I will keep you posted,

Kipling.